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Pain, No gain

January 7, 2010

I used to get really bad stomach aches, it felt like someone was standing on top of me wearing chain mail and thigh highs made of steel, I’m a wimp anyway and this sort of thing just pushed me over the edge so I’d cry and scream and occasionally pass out and there came a point when I just thought, this. must. stop. So they prescribed me some big yellow pills, big yellow pills which were just tranquilisers in a misleading, medical looking box. I dread having stomach aches now because I know I will experience the rest of the day entirely in slow motion. I took one today and it took me ten minutes to put a piece of bread in the toaster. I was so disorientated I kept thinking I hadn’t had anything to eat at all when I’d already had three slices , so I kept going “Oh, I should probably have some toast now, I’m feeling pretty hungry”. I ate most of the loaf and then spent another ten minutes looking at the almost empty bag of Hovis in a state of near tearful confusion.

 I once accidently took double my prescribed dose before a sports lesson and we were doing running; I was moving along like a person walking down the street in a flick book, in a slightly jerky but jaunty manner. I had to stop myself from picking up my leg and moving it a bit forward and then picking up the other one and moving that a bit forward. People were shouting “COME ON JENI, YOU CAN DO IT”. They were right. I did it, in my own sweet time. ‘My own sweet time’ was also ‘taking up most of the lesson and the following lunch hour time’. Still, I did it. Suckers.  

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